Freeze Frame Friday


As I sit back and drink some homemade lemonade with Sonic ice (duh), I can’t help but think back on some things I’ve been really grateful for lately. These are moments I don’t want to forget from the past few weeks.
Our little boy is basically a teenager now. Tomorrow I’ll be 35 weeks along! Just when I think things are gettin’ real, then I realize things are gettin’ real. And then it’ll probably just get more real in every season with him. It has been an honor to house our sweet Eddy for these past eight months. I don’t want to forget the kicks and little rib jabs or when PK reads to him and asks him about what he thinks about the economic state of foreign countries. You think I’m making that up, but I’m not. It’s hilarious. All I’ve been reading to him lately are Top 10 Buzzfeed lists. (bahaha!) All this to say, it’s a miracle, like a serious miracle that this baby is growing and thriving and wiggling and I thank God every day that we get to experience this and be Eddy’s parents.

Just when I think I can’t get enough of this man, he goes and gets me Sonic. In a V-neck. Have mercy. This season with PK has been sweet as we prepare to be parents. There’s been a lot of relaxing, and Friday Night Lights, and yummy dinners at home, and coffee dates, and PK helping me off the couch, and rubbing my feet that literally look like blown up rubber gloves. (It ain’t no joke people, it looks like I can pop these things) I’m grateful for my husband, and his kindness to me, and his listening ear, and how he can make me laugh in the midst of my hilarious pregnancy woes. Let’s never stop laughing and enjoying the little things PK, and let’s never forget this season we’ve had together. I love you.

We took a trip to our friend Sara’s parents’ house and it was glorioooooous!  Sometimes I don’t realize I need to get away until I get away. It’s a little oasis every time we go there. It was so fun to hang out with our sweet friends from here in Chicago. We got to wake up slow, boat all day long one day, lounge around, have good conversation, eat good food, and the list could go on. Sara’s parents are the best, and ask us good questions, and really want to know us, and it makes me feel so loved. Thank you Daryl and Gretchen from the bottom of all our hearts for having us over and loving us the way you do!
What are some sweet moments you’ve had these past couple of weeks? You know, the ones you want to store in a little box and never forget? Write ’em down, journal them, blog about them, keep ’em archived somewhere so you can go back and be reminded of the things that make the heart full.
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Top 5 must have clothing items during the I’ve-got-more-to-love-but-still-no-bump stage of pregnancy.


So I’ve heard about it. Friends have gone through it. That stage in pregnancy where the pants don’t fit as well as they used to. The button starts poking your stomach and half way through a coffee date with your girls, you surrender and unbutton like you just ate round two of a Thanksgiving meal. Sweet, sweet surrender.
It’s a beautiful thing that’s happening right now in this season I’m in. I’m sustaining life, so grow, baby, grow! While baby and I tag team this thing and grow together, I thought I’d share my top five favorite pieces of clothing that have gotten me through the getting-bigger-but-don’t-have-a-baby-bump-yet stage.
First up to bat: loose fitting shirts.
Thank-ya Jesusss that loose fitting shirts are in style.
Everyone wears these things, so I feel like I fit right in. And still feel good.
This shirt is from sheinside.com. I just found this website not too long ago and they have really affordable clothes and accessories that are super cute. Thanks Pinterest!

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Monday morning coffee date


I thought a little coffee date might be fun on this lovely Monday morning.

Today in Chicago it’s crisp and cool. It’s one of those big comfy sweater days where you throw your hair in a top knot. Minimal makeup. One of those days you just let yourself be.

If I had you over, I’d make you Metropolis Coffee. That’s the good stuff we got as a gift from some sweet friends of ours. As we cozy up with our fresh cups of coffee I’d ask you how you are. It’s been a while, so I want to know it all. What have been moments lately worth celebrating? What has been difficult, and how can I walk alongside you?

I would tell you that I’ve been looking forward to this week for a really long time. On Wednesday I leave for The Influence Conference. I’m so excited to see sweet friends I met last year and to meet blogger friends I’ve made this past year, but have yet to meet. I’m excited to soak in as much as I can about how I can make God known through this blog. I’m excited to learn more about Jesus and let that seep into my heart. I’m just pumped for it all!

Amidst the obvious excitement, I’d tell you that there is also a little part of my heart that aches knowing that Elston won’t be in tow. I was excited to be sharing in the joy with the other pregnant women that will be at the conference. I would have been about seven months pregnant and what I would give to be wobbling my pregnant self around that place with the other wobbling women. I truly do trust in God’s plan in all this even though I will never understand it all on this side of heaven.

At this point in the conversation, it would probably be refill time. It’s Monday, which means an extra cup of coffee is a must. I would continue to tell you what a blessing it has been to have our sweet friend Kanani live with us this past month. She inspires us both and has a soul as sweet as the warm sunshine on a cool day. That’s what she is, a ray of sunshine. She is a young woman who, in her presence, you feel free to just be. You just want to soak her right up because what she adds to this world is so incredibly life-giving. I would tell you, too, that I’m not ready for her to leave at the end of the month.
I know I’ll see her, just probably not as much, and she really has become so special to me. I think I’m not ready for her to go because she’s been such a breath of fresh air in the midst of one of the hardest seasons of my life and I am just so thankful for her. My sweet, dreadlocked Kanani, I’ve told you this before, and I’ll tell you it again, that you are a gem. You are “far more precious than rubies” (proverbs 31), and you have a special place in the hearts of PK and me. We love you!

{Lovely Kanani. Seriously, even playing kickball she is gorgeous!}

As we conclude our lovely coffee date, I would ask if it would be okay if we prayed together. For the things that are going on in our lives and for the things that weigh heavy on our hearts. We are in this journey together and I see no better way to conclude such a good morning than with prayers of thanks and praise and requests to the God that loves us so.

Thanks for the sweet lil date, let’s meet again soon.

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Elston’s Song


Mamas out there who have lost a baby, or anyone who has lost someone they love so dear, do you ever have those days where everything is going pretty well and out of the blue, something hits you like a ton of bricks? That reminder {again} that who you lost is not here. That reminder of the piece of your heart you will never get back. It happened to me today. It happens every once in a while, but this time it was different. I was minding my own biz, gettin’ my watercolor on and I decided to listen to Ed Sheeran. A girl at the yoga studio where I work out was listening to him yesterday, and I thought, why not check him out? Good background music as I let my creative juices flow.
{Isn’t this kinda fun?! Check out the tutorial here.}
I let his playlist on Spotify go through the whole album, but I couldn’t get through the whole album because his song “Small Bump” hit such a deep part of my heart. All I could do was listen to it over and over and let the tears flow. I emailed the song to PK and told him if we ran out of water think I could watercolor with my tears. Haha. Kidding, but not kidding. I turned into a hot mess real quick.
Listen to it here:
The reason I say that this reminder of Elston was different is because it had an incredible beauty to it. So many of the reminders of him lately have been frustrating, and {in my mind} not fair. Today it felt healing. It was a reminder that I am not alone. Not alone as we dreamed of him and made plans while he was still alive. Not alone in my wondering why he had to leave so soon. This song is so beautifully written and my heart sings it loud to our sweet baby. Halfway hoping he can hear me and feel my love for him but also knowing he is with Jesus experiencing a love so pure. A love this world can’t give.
Here are the lyrics to the song:
You’re just a Small Bump unborn, Four months you’re brought to life,
You might be left with my hair, but you’ll have your Mother’s eyes,
I’ll hold your body in my hands be as gentle as I can, and now your scan on
My unmade plans,
Small bump four months then brought to life
I’ll whisper quietly, I’ll give you nothing but truth,
If your not inside me, I’ll put my future in you
Cause you are my one, and only.
And You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you’ll be alright.
Your just a small bump unknown and you’ll grow into your skin.
With a smile like hers and a dimple beneath your chin.
Finger nails the size of a half grain of rice.
And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide a small bump, in Four months
You’ll open your eyes.
And You can lie with me, with your tiny feet when your half asleep, I’ll leave You be.
Right in front of me for a couple weeks.
So I can keep you safe.
Cause you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
Oh you are my one, and only.
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.
And you’ll be alright.
Your just a small bump unborn just four months then torn from life.
Maybe you were needed up there but we’re still un-aware as why
I am one wrecked mama missing her baby like crazy, with one grateful heart to God. For giving me this song and for the assurance that He indeed holds our sunshine baby close.
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